whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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