Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
