I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I AM VODKA MAN
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
