i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Randomize
