i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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