I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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