Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize