He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
