but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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