listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
