Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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