I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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