The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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