And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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