when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
