This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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