I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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