I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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