question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
