Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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