Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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