It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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