I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
