It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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