I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize