Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
