I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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