i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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