we're blogging at a bar
"it" just moved
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
