Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
