I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
