I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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