How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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