Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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