is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize