im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
