i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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