dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
