i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
