I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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