Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
