I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
