Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize