Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
