I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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