hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
