Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need water and some morals
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
