Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
