: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
