The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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