I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
