If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
