I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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