dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
