we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
