If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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