I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
