put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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