i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize