its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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