new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
