sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize