i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
