Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
