i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
