So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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