There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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